I work in the arts.
And if you aren’t aware of it, there are a lot of people in the arts who are gay. Therefore, I have many gay friends.
I have said many times and written many times, that I don’t pretend to understand homosexuality. Now, don’t confuse that statement with me saying I condemn it or hate it or love it or embrace it or whatever. It is an honest statement from a pure place. I don’t understand it.
Having said that, I don’t actually understand heterosexuality either. I don’t understand any of it.
I participate in heterosexuality. But only because it was always a natural (frustrating, debilitating and life-altering) primal urge. But I never truly understood it.
I mean, why do you see someone on the other side of the room and suddenly have this crazy pull toward them? Why do you have an almost unstoppable desire to be next to them and touch them and kiss them on the mouth? (yuck!)
Nothing about sexuality makes any real sense.
This was the point and focus of my little hit song (around 20 years ago) called “Babies.” It was about how illogical it is to spend some time with someone, then get so emotionally attached to them that you are willing to take a sledgehammer to your perfect life, just to put them in it. And then, to make matters worse, you willingly make more humans with them?
Good lord! What are we doing, people?!?!
But this is the nature of attraction and human sexuality. We can put the nicest, most wholesome face we can find on it, but at some point everybody’s mom and dad were trying to get freaky.
I know, I know…gross.
My original point was that I know a lot of gay people. And I don’t know why they’re gay. And maybe they don’t even know. And it’s actually none of my business.
What I can tell you is that some of the best people I’ve ever known are gay.
I can tell you that some of the most brilliant geniuses I’ve ever known are gay. And I can tell you that some (probably more than you would be comfortable knowing about) of the songs you sing in church were written or arranged by a gay person.
Trust me. I’m not an expert on many things. But I am on this. And it is a certainty.
And yet, homosexuality is always going to be at odds with the Christian religion. As long as those certain bible verses are there to read, there will be issues for people who have issues.
I tend to have the same approach to all of this as I do to those who eat shrimp and pork, when there are verses in the bible that clearly say to not eat shrimp and pork (even though there is a lot of science showing shrimp and pork to be healthy foods).
I just say, “I don’t know” and move on.
If you love shrimp and eat it regularly, and it seems to work for you, who am I to tell you not to eat it? I mean, I can tell you what Leviticus 11 says about it. But you ultimately have to decide if shrimp is going to send you to hell or not. But I digress …
Several years ago, a couple of my gay friends were staying at my house. My son was 4-years-old at the time. They were unaware that anyone was in the house, and were stealing a kiss (they are partners).
My son was playing upstairs (they didn’t know this) and in eye-sight of them. I was just coming upstairs from the office, and stepped in front of him just in time for him to miss the kiss.
Later that day, I asked my friend if they would refrain from the PDA around my son. And this was my only objection …
At the time, my son wanted to marry the dog and couldn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to marry the dog. He loved the dog. Why couldn’t he marry the dog? Then, when I told him it was a non starter, that he’d have to marry a person…usually a girl…he decided he needed to marry his cousin. After all, she was cool and he loved her.
Then, I told him he couldn’t marry his cousin either. It was against the law. He then decided he wanted to marry his mom. I had to crush his dreams, yet again, because she was already married…TO ME.
These were the daily conversations I was having with a freaking 4-year-old.
Was my son into beastiality? Was he into incest? Was he trying to tell us his own personal truth about his sexuality? Was he trying to be his most authentic self? Was he screaming for the acceptance of his non-traditional, non-binary way of approaching sex?
HE. WAS. FOUR.
He also had very deep opinions on Santa Claus and how we should leave real peppermint sticks on the tree for him, as well as reindeer food for Rudolph, every Christmas Eve. He regularly wore capes throughout the house and could even fly by simply stretching out his arms. He built entire empires out of legos, in his play room. Sometimes, he would tear down those empires and transform them into two competing monsters that ultimately killed each other.
That’s what 4-year-old boys do. The borders that separate fact from fiction don’t yet exist in their underdeveloped brains.
So, when I asked my friend to refrain from PDA in front of my 4-year-old it was for one reason, and ONE reason only…
I wasn’t ready to have that conversation with him, yet.
That was it.
I told my friend that we were having so many complicated conversations, at the moment, I simply didn’t want to add another one into that mix. That’s all.
My friend was gracious and understood and actually agreed with me that it would be a lot to talk about with a 4-year-old. And that was that.
My son is now 15 and still hasn’t ever had a girlfriend (to my knowledge). But he does understand sex and straight versus gay and trans and all the stuff and the things. We think he’s a straight kid. But I’ll be honest, until I see you see an actual girlfriend, you never know. Even then, you can never really know.
Because sex is complicated.
That’s why it should be reserved for people who at least have a somewhat developed brain. And even those people still participate in insanity when it comes to sex.
Because sex is complicated.
Disney released a Buzz Lightyear movie over the weekend, and it’s not doing very well (at least, by Disney standards).
I haven’t seen it because I don’t see anything. I haven’t even seen Top Gun yet. But apparently, there is a same sex kiss in the film.
Okay, whatever. Adults watched Mitch and Cam kiss each other for years, on Modern Family. That wall has been broken many, many times.
But keep in mind, in a Pixar film, this had to be very deliberate, in order to lock it into the concrete of those movies. Nothing in an animated film is haphazard or “just something spontaneous the actors did.” Every minuscule movement and sound is always pre-planned down to the one and zero.
So, this is Disney’s attempt to normalize this with children.
And if you’re gay, I understand the argument. We’ve seen heterosexual kisses on children’s screens for decades. The whole premise of Snow White is based on a kiss…between a man and a woman.
So, what’s the big deal with two men (I’m assuming it’s two men) if we are truly accepting as a society? Also, if you’re in a same sex relationship and you have children and you work at a film studio, and they never see their parents’ type of relationship depicted on the screen, you may want to step up and make that happen.
I get that.
But I think it goes back to the conversations so many are not ready to have…YET.
If my (then) 4-year-old saw Buzz kissing a guy, or being kissed by a guy, the endless (and I mean endless) questions that would lead to more questions that would lead to more questions would envelop my entire life and nobody would ever be able to focus on anything else.
Because, did I tell you the kid wanted to marry the dog?
When I sit down with my kids to watch a Disney film, what I want to see is something that doesn’t make me have to have difficult conversations with 4-year-olds. That doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be allowed to make you think or re-think something. We all loved films like Frozen and The Lion King and Inside Out.
But, I would imagine the reason people are panning this film, aside from the fact that it may not be any good, is that people are all kind of exhausted by having to “have a real conversation” about everything under the sun, every damn day of their lives.
The LBGQT.A…bcd894 (they lost me after Q) community, just like every other community in our country, has stated its case. We get it. We hear you. We’ve heard you for many years. We don’t hate you.
Can you just give everybody an hour and some change, every once in a while, without us all having to talk about this stuff with our young kids?
That’s all people are asking.
You’d think Disney, the producers of more entertainment comfort food that anyone in history, might understand that.
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