22 THINGS WE SHOULD RETIRE IN 2022 …

22. ANTHONY FAUCI

There’s a famous story, here in Nashville, about a guy who wandered into a recording session and started making suggestions on a track being recorded. All the musicians thought he was part of the artist’s team. Maybe from the label. Maybe from management. Everybody just listened to him…until the suggestions started making no sense, whatsoever.

Finally, the producer (who had been out of the room) walked in and said, “um…dude…who ARE you? And how did you get in here?” 

I think we’re all to the point, with Dr. Fauci, where we’re saying, “Um…dude…who are you, why do I keep seeing you on TV? And why do you have so much power over my life?” 

You had a good run, doc. But you’ve been too wrong or too confusing, too many times. We can get nuanced information faster from other sources, than you can impart the standard CDC talking points on the evening news. And you’re too closely tied to too much that needs to be investigated, now. Time for you to exit the session. 

And while we’re on the subject of investigations …

21. THE IDEA THAT THE VIRUS DIDN’T COME FROM A LAB 

If you still think the virus that has turned the world upside down for the last two years, came from a cave…you’re living in one. The information that discredits this theory is all pretty readily available and pretty widely accepted…except by those who were involved.

The information is out there. 

And speaking of information being out there …

20. EXCUSES 

Never before in human history, have we had access to more information and more knowledge on how to get our bodies in shape and beat metabolic issues, than right now. If you want to do it, you can do it. It’s 2022 for Pete’s sake. You can figure it out.

And, when it comes to weight loss, one thing has gotten totally figured … 

19. SNACKS

Whether you’re an old school calorie counter or a new school insulin regulator, between-meal snacks basically wreck your New Year’s goal of losing those extra pounds. Adding daily snacks either A) adds unneeded calories to your count, or B) spikes your insulin and shuts down fat burning. 

Either way, snacking isn’t a good idea. 

The 6-small-meals-a-day/keep the metabolic furnace burning/never let yourself get hungry philosophy is as outdated as bell bottoms. If you’re not playing first base on a little league team, you probably don’t need snacks. 

And when it comes to what you don’t need … 

18. FANCY EXERCISE EQUIPMENT

It is now pretty well established that you don’t really need any “equipment” to get your body in shape. Nor do you need expensive diet programs that require you to eat this or that processed energy bar or protein drink. 

If you just exchange everything you drink in a day, for water (or sparkling water), walk an hour a day, and don’t eat after 7 pm, you will be a different person in about a month. 

If you want to build muscle on top of that, body weight work is proving to be what the old folks knew it was – effective. 

Start doing pushups, pull-ups and air squats everyday. If you just do those few things, you won’t recognize yourself by summer. You don’t need that new fangled wheel type thingy or those cool straps or that big machine, that will just be taking up space by March.

Doing some simple things and being consistent, might just get you close to where you want to be. Consistency always beats fancy. And before you know it, you’ll be as hot as that Tik Tok girl. 

Speaking of Tik Tok girls …

17. TIK TOK DANCE VIDEOS TO NEON MOON

Ladies, you all look lovely in those videos. And I’m sure Brooks and Dunn are ecstatic about every video posted. But just about every woman in America has done one, now. It’s basically the Macarena. 

Let’s at least find another song. And, of course, by “song” I mean “thirst trap.” Because those aren’t going away anytime soon.  

When a clip of your booty can get 11 million views, you have found a new career. TV Networks would kill for those kind of numbers. 

And that leads me to this …

16. NETWORK TV

I can’t even remember the last time I watched a show on a major TV network. Streaming services have taken over the entertainment space. And they do TV better than TV ever did it. 

Over the holidays, I saw a major Network actually advertising a couple of its new shows, ON a streaming service. They called one show “the next Superstore,” which I have never seen and didn’t know was something we compared things to. 

The other one was called “this generation’s FRIENDS.” And, of course, the cast was all black (anytime you see the phrase “THIS generation’s” in front of anything, rest assured everybody will be black. Because Hollywood is REALLY trying to make up for lost time). 

This is what Networks think people want. Hey guys, you’re about a decade behind…maybe more. That’s why you are no longer relevant and should be retired. Roll yourselves into the streamers and catch up to the rest of the world. 

We’ve already seen FRIENDS. I’m pretty sure my grandkids will be binging it on Disney Plus, one day. 

And speaking of Disney Plus …

15. THE BEATLES 

Nobody – and I mean NOBODY – loves the Fab Four more than me. Yesterday is my all time favorite song. I own everything they’ve ever put out. They are, without a doubt, the greatest band of all time. 

But we’ve heard the songs. We’ve seen the concerts. We’ve read the books and seen the movies. Now, after Peter Jackson has taken us into the inner sanctum of the musical creativity that shaped the modern world, we’ve actually gotten to watch them write and record classics.  

We totally get it: John was the visionary. Paul was the genius. George was the dark horse. Ringo was the work horse. It’s all out there. Every little detail has been poured over. Every rock has been turned over. We’ve squeezed about as much juice out of Beatle lore as is possible.  

The two remaining Beatles are in their 80’s. Well done, lads. 

Let’s just all enjoy the music, now, and let these guys retire in peace. 

While we’re talking about finding peace …

14. CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM 

I was all in for the first 9 seasons. But we get it, now. You made a hundred million dollars off Seinfeld, so all you do is play golf and twiddle your thumbs. You were the inspiration for George Costansa and say things nobody else will say out loud, and it gets you in uncomfortable situations. Ha. Got it. Okay. 

Seinfeld, being the consummate performer, had the good sense to say goodnight while everybody still wanted more. We’re about two seasons past that on this particular send up. 

In this season, by the time it was spoofing Trump’s “perfect call,” I was yawning and knowing EXACTLY what the next move was going to be. 

Also, that perfect call ended up being pretty damned important, in light of Hunter Biden’s laptop information. 

See, this show is supposed to be about a guy who will say what all of us are actually thinking. And this year missed the mark by a mile. 

If they really wanted to write a scenario that summed up what we’re all thinking, they should’ve created a scenario where Larry becomes president of his HOA and despite his horrible people skills, actually does a pretty great job…because he asks the uncomfortable questions. But then a group of HOA snobs use a flood of impossible-to-substantiate mail-in ballots, to beat him in the next election. 

And every time Larry tries to point out the inconsistencies and the corruption, he gets banned from some social media platform for violating community standards.

Then, after Larry gets replaced, the neighborhood declines into a shit show, because the guy who beats him is merely a figure head and proxy for the group who is out to get Larry ousted, and clearly in the first stages of dementia.

And, for no particular reason whatsoever, that leads me to this …

13. JOE BIDEN

I would like to personally congratulate Jimmy Carter and Barack Obama on no longer being the suckiest presidents of my lifetime. Our president’s latest plan to fight Covid is for us to Google where the closest testing station is. Google. It. 

MMkay. 

I don’t know if presidents can just step aside and say, “Sorry guys…this was a bad idea and it ain’t working. I’m just gonna peace out …”

But..um…bruh…It ain’t working. 

I guess that’s why so many people are constantly chanting, “let’s go Br…”

You know…the thing. 

Speaking of things not working …

12. AWARD SHOWS

In 2021, EVERY award show (from the Oscars to the Grammy’s, to everything in between) registered it’s lowest ratings in the history of itself. 

Yes, we’re all incredibly weary of being lectured to by “the winners” in life. And that probably has a lot to do with nobody watching these shows, anymore. But even the CMA’s got their worst ratings of all time. And those guys are all super nice and non-political. They love mama and trucks and just want to spread love and beer. 

The basic truth is that nobody cares about awards and award shows anymore. Giving out awards is actually turning into kind of an antiquated notion. Kinda like smoking. Sure, we all used to do it at one time. But we learned and grew and got better and realized that it was pretty much nonsense. 

*Full disclaimer: if I’m ever again nominated for nonsense, I will go and hope I win and completely deny that I ever wrote this*

And while we’re talking about nonsense …

11. LATE NIGHT TALK SHOWS

Greg Gutfeld is single-handedly destroying all the Late Night Jimmy’s of the world, because he has rejected the artificial premise of the host being an objective agent who has guests on to “talk” about 

themselves…and everybody is friends and they’re just shooting the breeze and “oh, wow, you’re in a new movie?…I had no idea!!” 

When, in truth, we all know that all the parties involved are basically just doing the business of selling us new music or new movies or new books. Yawn. We get it. And it’s an outdated artifice. 

But now, the hosts have all tipped their political hands. They’re in on trying to get us to think and vote a certain way. They’ve shown us behind the curtain one too many times. So, the jig is basically up. And we 

don’t care to participate in the farce, or the not-so-subtle political game, anymore.

We’d all prefer these beta males to just man up and do straight political shows, like Greg does. Just be what you want to be. But they know they can’t hang in that world. So they keep pretending they are 

comedians just doing political jokes. Even though the jokes ALL seem to run in one direction. 

You guys are all really well liked by the power. Congrats. 

But unfortunately, if your name isn’t Greg Gutfeld, you’re doing late night TV wrong. And we’re all on to your BS. 

While we’re on the subject of BS … 

10. DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME

I don’t know what time it’s actually supposed to be. What is the REAL time? We artificially move it back and forth every six months. 

Can we finally just pick one and stay with it? Is that too much to ask in 2022?

Or are we all going to continue to be victims of someone else’s bright idea from a long time ago? And how long ago? Who actually knows???

And speaking of victims …

9. VICTIM STATUS

Never, in the history of mankind, have more people been available, trained and willing to try and help you get through whatever it is you’re going through, than right now. We are bending over backwards to help 

people of every race, age, gender and national origin, be seen and heard and healed of whatever has been ailing them. 

It’s time to get out of the safe spaces, get on with the healing…and get to the business of life. 

And while we’re at it …

8. FORCED “DIVERSITY” IN TV COMMERCIALS

We get it. Sometimes a completely-against-type black guy marries a sort of masculine Asian girl. Sometimes a pasty white guy, with red hair and a hipster beard marries a black woman older than him. GOT IT. 

Sheesh. 

I’m in a mixed race marriage, myself. I’m all for a society where everybody has a part to play. But for the love, people…it’s just a car commercial. You don’t have to squeeze every “type” into every frame. We can literally see you checking the boxes. 

Can you see us rolling our eyes? 

And that leads me to another thing…

7. RACE

With all the new epigenetics research being done and new breakthroughs in nueroplasticity studies, we are, almost daily, seeing a new study that reads, “everything we know about metabolism is wrong” or “everything we thought we knew about DNA is wrong.” 

Basically, we’re finding out that our genetics doesn’t play the role we always thought it played in everything. It doesn’t lock us into what we thought it locked us into (see #20). 

As these new findings emerge, it makes race (and DNA, in general) less and less of a factor in pretty much everything…except what we decide it’s a factor in

Race is obviously a thing – yes, you are of a certain race. It obviously informs who you are…like your hair color or eye color does. 

But, unless you have a genetic disorder (such as my daughter’s case, where she is actually missing a piece of a chromosome) it doesn’t account for much more than that. 

In a world that is currently actually considering Critical Race Theory – a theory that asserts that literally EVERYTHING in your life is a result of your race (which is a pretty complicated case to make in 2022) – we’re learning, from good old science, that race only means what we want it to mean. 

Has it shaped our history? Of course. Has it left people out? No way to argue against that. Race has a tortured history on this continent (and every continent, if were being honest). And nobody is trying to gloss over horrible things that have happened to people because of their race. Nor should they. But at some point, you have to ask the big question: so, now what?

If we keep making things about race, they will keep being about race. It’s a vicious cycle. And nobody has the market on racism cornered. If race is a part of your daily thought pattern, you’re not yet free of it. 

Maybe it’s time, here in the early 2020’s, to get free of something that means so little in the general scheme of things.    

And maybe – just maybe – race will stop being a factor, when we…well…stop making it one. 

Then, maybe we could get to that little thing one of the world’s greatest visionaries talked about, a long time ago…the content of character.  

And speaking of science …

6. THE PHRASE “FOLLOW THE SCIENCE” 

We all know, now, that the word “science” should just be replaced with the word “money.” 

And speaking of following money …

5. HILLARY CLINTON

“I’m not gonna just bake cookies and just stand by my man like Tammy Wynette,” was the quote I remember the most. 

As a Nashville songwriter, I get my back up when people start making fun of Tammy and her iconic song. Not on my watch, sister. 

But then, after “her man” proved to be not only a philanderer, but possibly (probably) a sexual predator, she kinda stood by him…like Tammy Wynette. 

She overreached in 1993, trying to completely overhaul the American healthcare system, from an UNELECTED position, ushering in the Newt Gingrich revolution. 

She got more delegates than Barack Obama, in 2008, but then LITERALLY handed him the nomination at the convention. She lost to Donald Trump in ’16, blowing a double digit lead in the polls. Then she wrote  a 300 page book about why it happened. It could’ve been one page that simply read, “I didn’t campaign in Wisconsin.”

Anyway …

She completely missed the #metoo movement, mainly because she had put up with all the shenanigans by her husband and possibly by those around him. She misread the room when Trump was running. She’s been wrong more times than Al Gore trying to predict when all the ice will be melted. 

And we thought (and hoped) that maybe she’d have the good grace to simply ride off into the sunset. 

But I recently saw that she now has a “Master Class” available to purchase. Unless it’s on how to destroy a Blackberry with a hammer, I can’t imagine what she’s going to teach us…masterfully.  

Only baby boomer progressives in Hollywood would still think anybody cares what Ms. Clinton has to say. At least her husband – you know, the guy who actually WON twice – knows when to get out of the spotlight for a minute, and not wear out your welcome.  

Speaking of wearing out your welcome …

4. TIGER KING

You couldn’t have come at a better time. You got us through some weirdness, for a hot minute, by exposing us to something weirder. 

But I’m sorry, ya’ll. One season was enough. We can’t do multiple seasons of Tiger King for the same reason we can’t shoot Jaegermeister and eat brownies till we pass out, every single night. It was a one time thing.

Fun? You bet it was…ONCE. 

But the world simply can’t handle that much crazy on a regular basis. 

Speaking of crazy on a regular basis …

3. MASKS 

The Bangladesh study is pretty clear. M-95 masks work pretty well at stopping droplets and maybe curbing a percentage of people from catching a virus. Cloth masks, however, like the ones so many people are required to wear in order to work directly with the general public…are basically worthless. 

In the end, viruses do what they do…they spread. Then, they mutate. Then, they spread again. And they mutate again. And so on and so forth. 

Masks are never going to stop that progression in any long-term, sustainable, meaningful way. And we can’t wear them for the rest of our lives, everywhere we go. 

Although, I’m sure the above comments will be fact checked to death and probably get me banned from one thing or another. 

And that leads me to this …

2. FACT CHECKERS

Two important law suits were recently filed (and won) by John Stossel and Peter Schweitzer (respectively), regarding “fact checkers” taking down their content. 

As both reporters were able to prove, their content was NOT non-factual. And in Stossel’s case, the fact checkers had to admit that their problem with his factual content was based on opinion. Not established 

fact. 

This should be the end of “fact checking” on anything calling itself a “platform” from here on out.  

What we’ve learned is that sometimes fact checkers simply want certain facts to be facts…even if the facts they want upheld are not even established facts…yet. And that has led to more confusion than if they would’ve just left everybody alone and allowed them to share whatever they wanted to share. 

We get to the truth only by allowing more information to come to light – not by curating information like parents trying to keep their tweeners from seeing an R rated movie. 

Just because you’re wearing skinny jeans, an ironic sweater (buttoned all the way to the top), drinking an expensive latte and driving a hybrid, doesn’t mean you can’t still unknowingly be a staunch fascist. 

Fascists always think as long as THEY are controlling the right people, then THEY are not really fascists. They always think they’re part of the solution…until one day they wake up to find it has descended into a “final” one.

I recently saw some commercial where a young social media exec (dressed much like the person in the sentence above) was talking about how they are trying to handle this issue. He was so earnest and kind in his demeanor. He said something to the effect of, “without regulation, we’re just trying to find a good place to land on all of this.”

I yelled back at the TV, “There already IS a good place to land! It’s called freedom of speech!”

And, speaking of getting banned, if nothing else dos it, in this piece, it’ll probably be this ONE word …

1. COVID 19

Now, let me start by saying that I’ve had this virus. And it almost killed me. It almost killed my daughter. And it DID kill several of my dear friends. 

I have never taken this lightly or been flippant about any of it. I cancelled my career, stayed home, socially distanced, washed my hands like I had OCD, wore the masks, took the vitamin D…and got it anyway. 

Because…well…see #3. That’s what viruses do. 

And then, after I recovered, I started the most radical life shift imaginable (dropping 60 pounds in the process) to make sure I didn’t end up in the hospital again, over an unforced error. 

Then, when the vaccines came out, I got the most potent one on the market, even though that action actually alienated some of my friends. But, I took an “all of the above” approach to the whole issue. And I didn’t make any of my decisions without doing extensive research and talking with medical professionals about all of it. 

I did almost nothing but health research for all of 2021. I have read more studies and looked at more graphs than I ever wanted to, in my lifetime. I have talked to doctors and nurses on a regular basis. I’m in a text group completely devoted to finding and sharing new information on this very subject. 

So, I don’t say this lightly …

As of the typing of this, there are more confirmed cases of Covid in America than at any other time since the pandemic started. And those numbers are probably going to double, very soon. But we are now to a weaker – albeit more infectious – variant. And that’s actually a good thing. 

By the time they get the “O”s, in the variant rolodex, that usually means the organism has weakened and adapted to the type of host it wants to live in. 

See, that’s how it works.  

Every living thing – even a virus – has the prime directive to live. So viruses would rather not kill their hosts. By the time they adapt and mutate and figure out where the sweet spot is, they’re easier to get and give, but they also don’t make you as sick. 

This is when “pandemic” becomes “endemic.” I remembered it from science class by just remembering the root word, “END.”  

That’s when we basically reach what they call “herd immunity.”  

It doesn’t mean you can’t still get it. It doesn’t mean you might not still get pretty sick. It just means the worst is behind us, and now it’s going to be a seasonal annoyance we have to factor into our day-to-day lives…like a cold or the flu. 

Most of the news we’re getting about the Omicron variant, is good news. It seems to be milder and easier to kick. It also seems to provide immunity from the other variants – which is amazingly good news! 

***This is not medical advice or expertise*** but it seems like we’re about to turn the corner on this thing. And good f#8king riddance! 

C-19 has had its 15 minutes…and then some. 

It has turned the world upside down and inside out. It has crashed economies and created new fortunes. It has shifted power and changed the dynamic of almost everything about human existence. 

We will forever see the world through the prism of “before Covid” and “after Covid.” 

If we can live with what it has now become…it’s time for the “after.” 

If I’m not right about any of these other things, I pray I’m right about this one. 

Either way, here’s to a great – and healthy – new year …

R   

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4 thoughts on “22 THINGS WE SHOULD RETIRE IN 2022 …

  1. One of your best blogs. If you haven’t heard Dr. Robert Malone, virologist, his interview by Joe Rogan is a must listen. He has the inside story on the good, bad, and ugly of every thing related to COVID and all the cover-ups and misinformation. Keep up the great work.

    Like

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