It’s the blood that bothers me the most.

The fact that the mother’s blood doesn’t mingle with the child’s blood…yeah…that bothers me. 

Also, whenever a woman says, “I’m eating for two, now,” I always ask myself, “So, that IS a whole other person in there?” 

Anyway …

We’ve all got our opinions on abortion. It’s one of the primary issues with which our country grapples. It essentially divides us into two groups. 

I know of so many people (often, women) who don’t realize how staunchly conservative they are, save one issue…abortion. I also know a lot of people who think they are conservatives but who really aren’t…until it comes to that subject. 

This issue cuts through the fabric of our culture like a sword. 

It sprang out of the sexual revolution. Women got tired of being told what to do. They wanted the power and control over their own bodies. I totally get that. I want power and control over my own body, too. I guess the only thing I would say to women, from someone with “white, male privilege” is that no matter how much power and control you think you have over your own body, it doesn’t exempt you from consequences

I personally know of three women who had this procedure in their youth. No…the progeny in question weren’t mine, (the Mumps secured my place in the “unable to re-produce” category many years ago), but the afore-mentioned women live with deep, emotional scars. I’ve heard them discuss it and they all believe that what was inside them was indeed a human life. 

To a woman, they all regret their decision. I make no judgements or statements and preach no sermons…I always just listen. 

I also know of men who got someone pregnant and then got hit for child support after the fact, even though they didn’t want the child. 

If a man doesn’t want a child, they’re called “a deadbeat dad.” If a woman doesn’t want a child, she’s merely exercising her rights. But I digress …

The abortion debate is essentially a battle over who gets to live and who doesn’t – and who gets to make that decision. It’s no more complicated than that. And a lot of women firmly believe that until the child inside them takes its first breath of fresh, earth air, they are the sole arbiters of the child’s existence. I don’t argue this point. I never have. But if I were going to argue it, there’s a lot of science on that side of the argument. 

I have questions for those who refuse to accept a human fetus as human life: 

Why do we do “prenatal” care if we’re not protecting a life? 

Why do we discourage women from smoking or drinking or even eating tuna while they’re pregnant, if it’s not to protect a completely different, autonomous entity? That has always nagged at me. 

Why do we charge someone with double homicide if they kill a pregnant woman?

Oh, whatever …

I watched a whole segment, once, on Good Morning America, about prenatal care and all the things you should do to “protect” your unborn child. Then, literally as they were going to commercial break, the anchor said, “Next, the debate over abortion heats up!” 

And I couldn’t help but think to myself, “so, you do all this stuff to keep your unborn baby safe…unless you decide to kill it at the last minute?” 

It was hard to reconcile. 

Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, would not have approved of my son and DEFINITELY not daughter…or my son’s best friend…or half of the NFL or NBA, or Beethoven, or James Brown, or Richard Pryor, or Steve Jobs, or Andrea Bocelli, or Faith Hill, or Hellen Keller, or Stephen Hawking, or Maya Angelou, or Oprah Winfrey, or pretty much any hip hop artist…or my own brother. 

These are all examples of people who were either “accidents,” given up for adoption, born into poverty or born into minority status, without hope or prospects. Or, they were the worst sin of all…born with a disability. 

Margaret believed we needed to “weed” these people out (her words – not mine). Hence, Planned Parenthood (the mission statement is right there in the name). 

I’m really glad all of the aforementioned people didn’t get “weeded out.” Especially my kids and my brother…and James Brown.

Then again, I understand the other argument. Hear me out …

My daughter has one of the rarest genetic disorders on planet earth. She cannot speak or care for herself in any way. There is an 80% molestation rate among people with disabilities. It’s completely insidious because predators know these are the weakest among us. And they act on it. And it sickens me. 

God forbid my daughter were to get raped and pregnant, we know that she would not be able to carry a child to term. It would kill her or kill the baby. We know this. It has happened. And even if she were to somehow carry it to term, it would have to be adopted immediately. She would not be able to care for it. 

Furthermore, there is a 50% chance the baby would be born with Angelman Syndrome, making it much more difficult to adopt out. 

These things keep me awake at night. And if I’m being honest, I would like to know there would be options for her, in an unthinkable situation like that. Some people have assured me that God would never let something happen. Then, they got on with their day, while I was there, still taking care of a person no one ever comes to take to the mall or to the park or to a birthday party. 

Yeah …God takes care of it. I get it. 

The harsh truth is you’re not really “pro-life” unless you have adopted children. Let me repeat that: you are not really pro-life unless you have adopted children. 

You may be philosophically opposed to abortion. But that is very different than being an active participant in protecting and providing for existing human life. It’s hard to listen to and face, but as long as there are orphans in the world, there aren’t enough people who actively embrace the idea of caring for all life. 

Here are some things to think about and ask yourself: 

If abortions are made illegal in all 50 states, there will be millions more children (many of whom will be children with special needs) who need to be adopted. How many children are you prepared to adopt? How many families with multiple children with disabilities, are you prepared to support? 

If ALL life is precious, regardless of how it is made, how many single mothers who sleep around and get pregnant by multiple fathers are you prepared to help support? After all, it isn’t the child’s fault how they got here. 

Some liberal states are taking abortion to a grisly end; allowing for abortions right up until the due date. They are even talking about ending the life, after the child has been born. One governor said, “we will keep it comfortable until the mother makes the decision.” 

Keep WHAT comfortable?!?! And if it’s not a life, why do you need to keep it comfortable? 

Whatever …

Then, on the other end of the spectrum, in the orthodox south (Texas being the latest hot spot), they are passing laws they believe to be righteous. And I get it. But in actual practice, do we really achieve anything by turning women who get abortions into criminals?

I’ve asked a lot of questions and provided almost no answers. Maybe that’s because the actual answers are not easy ones and they’re not ones we really want to hear. And unless we were prepared to face those answers honestly, this conversation will continue to be pointless. 

People (mostly conservatives) often tell me they want me to run for some sort of office. I always reply by saying, “You wouldn’t vote for me. Trust me.” And it’s because of this …

I’m personally a big fan of how Rudy Giuliani handled the issue in New York City. 

He was constantly excoriated by conservatives for being pro-choice, but abortions went down substantially in NYC on his watch. Why? He worked to champion adoption laws that favored adoptive parents and that gave pregnant girls better and more streamline alternatives. 

That’s actual problem solving and not just partisan rhetoric. Thats what I’m looking for. 

Yelling at people and debating the issue doesn’t bring babies into the world. Neither do stricter state laws. 

The fact is, there are more families waiting to adopt children than there are available children in the United States right now. I’ll bet you didn’t know that. Because adoption laws are so screwed up from state to state, adoptive families opt for overseas adoptions. My family was one of those. If you want to really end abortion, lobby for more favorable adoption laws in your state. 

Then, if you’re really serious, adopt a child. Find a pregnant girl looking for options, and give her a great one. 

That’s what life is all about. 



3 thoughts on “LIFE AND LAWS …

  1. I’m extremely squishy on the whole subject… as I suspect are most people who aren’t firmly tied to one faction or the other.
    I’m (more or less) fine with early-term abortion, for some value of early-term which I can’t rightly define. But the abortion-as-sacrament faction demands abortion on demand up to the moment of delivery, and possibly for some time afterward, which, to me, is clearly an abomination. If I have to choose between one faction and the other? It suddenly becomes very clear indeed.
    And, just to throw a monkey wrench in the arguments, let’s remember that the legal basis for Roe v. Wade was a right to medical privacy… a right which we’re now told doesn’t exist.

    As for your point about making better options more readily available? Gotta agree with you on that, and not just with regard to this topic. There are many areas in which doing the right thing is gratuitously difficult, and there’s seldom any interest in making the right path any easier. Perverse incentives rule!


  2. Thankfully there are many pro-lifers who do adopt. As a homeschooling mom, I am in the community that includes the families who adopt not one, but many children. I wish I could adopt, but both parents must be willing. Btw, I had never read your older posts so I didn’t know that you have a daughter with Angelman’s. That was a possible diagnosis for my daughter before we did genetic testing and got the correct one. God bless you and your family.


  3. When I hear people talking about abortion and the words pro-life, I want to put my two cents in. I thought I knew where I stood on this issue until I tried to nail down a philosophy of abortion for a paper in a philosophy class. Arguments on the pro-choice side were very convincing honestly. People on the pro-life side seemed to just keep yelling over and over the same slightly doubtful statements. Years later, I am pro-life again; but for reasons that might not satisfy my evangelical friends. I am not, for instance, convinced that we know when the life of the child becomes distinguishable from the life of the mother. Separation/individuation doesn’t become complete until about 20, does it. The fact that the fetus experiences pain does not make it a separate being from the mother. If my finger gets cut, it hurts. If it gets crushed it hurts bad. But at no time does it become something other than a part of my body. There were other good arguments. I don’t remember them all. So, why do I come down on the pro-life side, even though I find pro-lifers to be often offensive? When I read the Bible, the word life (especially in John’s books) is very much tied up with God’s identity. It seems in Genesis that He doesn’t so much give life as He gives us Himself. He is life. Because of this, I am reluctant to ever take life away from something God is causing to live. After all, God is not just our creator. He actively sustains everything in our world, especially us. How can Christians choose to remove life? Secondly, I have spent a lifetime fighting my own selfish desire to kill myself. If God is the one who keeps my body and mind living, how completely selfish of me to try to throw that life back in His wonderful face?


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