WHY I UNFRIENDED YOU …

“If you believe (insert belief here) unfriend me right now!” was the post that caught me in just the wrong mood, at just at the wrong time. 

Never, since the “let’s see who actually reads my posts and will re-post this” post, has there been a more passive/aggressive way to communicate with people on social media.  

So…I unfriended them.

I don’t usually throw away relationships so casually. I cherish all the friendships I’ve cultivated in my life. At least, I used to. But something about that statement that was so terse and intractable and downright narrow-minded, made me realize that maybe I didn’t really know that person at all. Maybe I never knew them. 

What followed that initial “unfriending” was a flurry of unfriending. Suddenly I felt freer than I ever have. I was tired of dancing around beliefs and the wrong words and the wrong jokes and the possibility of offending someone for thinking the wrong thing or even just considering the wrong thing. 

By the end of the month, I had unfriended several hundred people. And even blocked a few. And it was one of the most liberating moments my online avatar has ever experienced. 

Most of my real, honest-to-goodness friends, have been my friends for more than 10 or 20 or even 30 (and some, over 40) years. 

I don’t have to explain myself to them. They know me. They know what I believe. They know my heart. They know what I stand for and what I don’t stand for. I don’t have to recite my bio to them or prove a negative. 

They all know I’m not a racist or a homophobe or a transphobe or whatever the “phobe” of the moment is. They know I will always be honest with them. They know where I am on politics and faith. They know where I am on family and friendship. 

I don’t have to post links to prove anything to them. 

And so they don’t judge me by my political choices or non-choices. And I don’t judge them by those things either. 

You can’t lose real friends. 

But, for so long, we have all been divided up based on our political views and how we might process certain beliefs. 

Unfortunately, in the heat of last year’s election, I found (as we all found) that some people I thought I knew, I didn’t actually know. And that is a difficult realization. 

So, now here we are – almost a half year later. 

Those who wanted to see Donald Trump out of office at any cost, got exactly what they wanted. Those who wanted me to unfriend them if I still thought the election was questionable or mask effectiveness was questionable or if Covid numbers were questionable or if this or that was questionable…also got what they wanted. 

If you are still living in a world you refuse to question, then yeah…we can’t really be friends. Not, like, real friends. 

I heard a leading epidemiologist from Yale (yes, I said a YALE) on the radio, yesterday, say that studies are proving that having had Covid 19 is just as effective against not getting it again as getting the vaccine. 

I’ve had Covid 19. And yet there are still those out there who will still shame me for not getting the vaccine. Prepare the comments thread to be pasted with links in 3…2…

I went on YouTube to find a stretch that would help my lower back. I found hundreds. One told me to use a tennis ball under my sciatic area. Literally the next one told me to not do that under any circumstances and gave a different stretch to use. 

THAT stretch, as it turns out, was the one that got me up off the floor – immediately. 

How can both of those videos live on a platform so dedicated to medical truth? How can I watch one video telling me that pork rinds are healthier than corn chips, then instantly flip to a video telling me that those pork rinds are probably killing me and I should just eat corn chips, on the same platform? 

But then I can’t access the governor of Florida’s Covid protocol because that platform took it down, citing “misinformation?” Who’s kidding who, here? 

If you can’t see the agenda behind this, or at least raise an eyebrow, how can we ever have a real conversation? 

Our sitting president may have not gotten that job without Facebook and Twitter squelching a story about his son’s recovered laptop, that had some pretty incriminating information on it (at least the appearance of impropriety) regarding how the Biden family turned elected influence to money. 

Turning power into money isn’t a crime. It’s when you trade elected power for it, that it becomes at least investigate-able.

The son in question still hasn’t denied it’s his laptop. The best he could do on national TV was say, “It might be. We’ll see.” 

WE’LL SEE?! Really? We’ll see if I committed international crimes for my (now) president father? 

If you can just watch that and not feel at least a little weird, not that it happened – powerful people get themselves in predicaments like this all the time, it’s not a surprise that it happened – but that the most powerful news outlets on the planet didn’t want you to know about it – then no…we’re not speaking the same language I’m afraid. 

I just saw a news report that cited 20% percent of the signatures in the California recall petition don’t match. And yet we’re told time and again that ALL the signatures matched during the 2020 election. 

Stop asking questions. You will get taken down off this site if you ask those questions. 

Okay, boss. You win. 

I’m at a point where I’m just tired of the arguments. I have no more energy for the debates. When things are self-evident, but not recognized as such, where do you go from there? How do you walk forward with someone who doesn’t even see the forest…much less the trees?

The powers that be are now just that – POWERS. 

Those who got what they wanted politically should now sit back and bask in whatever happens next. You own it.

From the YouTube videos I watch to getting a shot to wearing a mask to whatever avatar I post on social media after any given event, have all been politicized. And it’s hard for us to find common ground when all the ground keeps getting seized and appropriated toward one way of thinking. 

I used to have friends on all sides of the spectrum. I would still love that to be the case. I’m generally prone toward liking people. I think when we sit and talk one-on-one, we usually recognize common struggles and common hopes and dreams; common humanity. 

But somehow humanity is now being squeezed into a set of acceptable-only beliefs. And that’s not usually good in the long run. 

At the very least, it will get you unfriended on Facebook.   

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10 thoughts on “WHY I UNFRIENDED YOU …

  1. Amen! We find out who our real friends are—or are not.

    If you believe — you are an evil racist homophobic sob.

    Like that, 40 yr friendship down the drain!

    But living with and for Truth is better by far than 50 fake friends.

    Thanks for this. Speaking straight into the heart of things. Separating wheat from chaff, sheep from goats.

    CoExist bumper stickers on the worst offenders.

    Sent from my iPhone

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Yes! I feel this exact angst, too. My wife has simply decided to tune everything out, just live in our little part of the world and ignore national politics. But, is that even possible? Friends, real friends, in person friends, will ask “have you got your shot yet.” I’d love to say that question is a violation of HIPPA laws, but that’s not really the sort of thing you say to friends. I’ve tried to fall in like with alternate social media platforms, but so far I haven’t found much to like. I really just want less government at all levels. I’m tired of being told what to do for my own good. I’d rather go on and go out on my own terms. Thanks for another insightful post, Regie.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Exactly! You are spot on as usual. Family and friends alike have cut me out simply for saying we don’t have to agree on everything to live in harmony. But that’s not good enough anymore. People have gone crazy. I’m not going to be another sheep to keep a friend.

    Like

  4. We could definitely have conversation and walk away being friends. I had “friends” block me when a comment was made about January 6th. You know, the only questionable day of the whole last year. They were offended that I backed Trump on that one. I had to unfriend others too as several became very belligerent. No one needs that much toxicity in their life. But the most liberating of all was when I closed my FB account. I didn’t just deactivate. I downloaded my history and closed it forever. I’ve never looked back. I communicated to my contacts that I was leaving and if they wanted to keep in touch I gave them opportunity to exchange information.

    I so enjoy your blogs. When I see them come through my email I cannot wait to find a quiet place to read them. Thanks for sharing your insight.

    Like

  5. I ditched Facebook beginning of January, after watching a family member be mobbed viciously and the platform do nothing, while censoring harmless remarks in other forums. And there were other issues too, but that was the last straw. I have not cancelled it no longer active. Great choice; I have time and motivation for better things.

    Like

  6. Love it Reg!!!!!!! I haven’t known you and Yolanda very long, and I know our relationship is purely social, like Facebook etc, HOWEVER, what I have seen in you and your beautiful wife and family has made me hold you in high regard and given me “ THE GOD KIND OF LOVE FOR YOU ALL” KEEP DOING YOUR THING, I THINK YOU ALL ARE AMAZING HUMANS! Deborah Letizia ❤️

    Like

  7. I really appreciate this blog. I’ve been feeling this for a long time, but just not sure why, if that makes any sense.

    Like

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