It’s 6:58 AM, on November the 4th, and Americans still don’t know who the president is.

This is completely unacceptable in every way.

The case against government is often the mechanisms of government itself.

In this case, it could not be more self-evident.

If this were American Idol or Dancing With The Stars, the newly minted President would already be sitting for an interview on Good Morning America.


Because the private sector doesn’t have the luxury of incompetence.

There’s a schedule and a deadline and if you can’t get it done we’ll find someone who will.

But when you’re the only game in town, you’re the only game in town.

This – right here, right now – what is happening before the eyes of the planet: a screwed up election that will determine the leader of the free world, should be the only indictment against government anyone needs.

See, those of us in the “limited government” camp aren’t trying to take away your healthcare or or your food stamps.

We’re not trying to go back to 1954, or keep minorities down or make Jesus the official mascot of the country or put a gun in the hand of every toddler or any of the crazy things we get accused of on a daily basis.

We actually want the best for everybody; every race, gender, color, creed, age and weight.

We just know the difference between the post office and Fedex.

And if your child was in the ICU waiting on a kidney, whatever your first instinct is as to which of those entities you would rather have delivering that kidney, should inform your opinion of just exactly how much you trust government.

The thing about government isn’t that it’s inherently bad. The people who serve in it aren’t inherently bad or incompetent people.

In fact, they are often very well meaning and patriotic.

It’s just a universal principle in nature that anything that doesn’t have to compete, won’t.

And it will literally never know how efficiently it can run, because it will never be pushed to.

Obviously, there is no way to create competition in a voting scenario.

This is civics and volunteerism and it would be a conflict of interest nightmare to inject private industry into that process.

But I’m sitting here in the same conundrum I was in 20 years ago, when they were down there in Dade County looking at hanging chads.

Meanwhile, the device I’m typing this on wasn’t yet invented. But it has propelled me (and the rest of the world) into a new state of being.

Government has stood absolutely and completely still.

What’s happening in Georgia, Pennsylvania and some other states right now, is either abject incompetence or an attempt to somehow affect the process in favor of one candidate or the other.

In either case, it’s an embarrassment on a grand scale.

We ask these candidates to campaign like high performance vehicles, then we put them on a track every four years, that hasn’t had the potholes fixed.

“Dangit, Bob. Was that today?”

Yeah, dude! You’ve had FOUR years to get this process streamlined and tight.

If Chick Fil-A was running our elections, we’d already have the new president sworn in with a hot side of waffle fries and a sweet iced tea.


So it appears that we’re still going to have to wait for “all the votes to be counted” yet again, while we order everything from books to mattresses on Amazon and get them delivered to our door THE NEXT DAY, order pizza on an app that tracks everything from when they place the black olives on it to when the delivery is in the driveway, stream any movie ever made and any song ever recorded by touching a screen, all the while keeping eleven text threads going with our friends, posting on Facebook and Twitter and getting paid by direct deposit.

The world has moved on, election commissions. Maybe you should as well.

If I were in charge, I would push for a constitutional amendment that would require every state to certify their election by midnight of Election Day, or they lose all federal funding to their state for the next fiscal year.

Maybe it’s time to raise the stakes on this process and light a fire under those who run it.

This is The United freaking States of America. Not some third-world Democratic startup.

Get the votes counted. Today.

But they won’t get counted today. And this should be an object lesson for everyone.

The next time you vote for more government in your life, remember a few things:

The people who are going to have to enforce the laws you want passed are going to be cops.

The thing you’re hoping the government will do for you had better work. Because if it doesn’t, there’s no place else to go for it.

No matter who you vote for, your vote is at the mercy of the people counting it.

And if you are frustrated that we don’t have a clear winner for president when you wake up the morning after Election Day, remember who is in charge of that process.

And ask yourself if you want that process repeated in every other aspect of your life.



7 thoughts on “VOTING MACHINES …

  1. Can’t say we weren’t warned. How many blatant acts of treason and money laundering and celebrities threatening murder of the president and “blowing up the White House” and mysterious suicides and corrupt FBI agents and identity theft of Republican officials and so on and so on will it take for at least one honest American to demand some explanations and accountability??? How many lies do they have to be caught in before we stop believing the rhetoric? How many times can a person change their race and ethnicity to suit whatever minority label that benefits them at that moment? I’m almost ready to go down into my bunker and pretend none of them exist. Apparently nobody cares anymore!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. So excellent! Reading this, I wish you were in charge. Spot on AND entertaining: “If Chick Fil-A was running our elections, we’d already have the new president sworn in with a hot side of waffle fries and a sweet iced tea.”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I found your writing sure to the last presidential election’s blood entry that went viral.
    I reposted this one just now (crediting you, unlike 4 years ago when I had to Google deep to find the source). I wish it too would go viral.


  4. I found your writing due to the last presidential election’s blood entry that went viral.
    I reposted this one just now (crediting you, unlike 4 years ago when I had to Google deep to find the source). I wish it too would go viral.


  5. This is an extremely short-sighted view of what is currently happening. This is not a failure of government because it can’t innovate like the private sector. This is a intentional failure of government to favor a particular political party. You characterize either scenario as an embarrassment, when in reality: one of those is embarrassing and the other is astonishingly corrupt.

    For months, many of us have been talking about this exact same scenario where the in-person vote would skew Trump and the mail-in would skew Biden, and that this timing of counting mail-in vs. in-person ballots in key states would look like a gigantic mess. To address this specific concern and confusion on Election Night, Democratic legislators in these battleground States wanted to amend their State’s election procedures so election officials could start processing mail-in ballots prior to election night so that they could be prepared to report everything (mail-in and in-person votes) at once. GOP state legislatures said no, and that refusal solidified the fact that there would be a substantial delay in opening, processing, and counting this unprecedented number of mail-in ballots. Further, Trump specifically told his supporters not to vote by mail (which only makes sense when you take into account his multiple efforts and successes at disrupting the USPS delivery of ballots in all the battleground states). This all could have been avoided and the surrounding anger and conspiracy theories could have been cut off at the knees, but unfortunately it was (1) the intentional hand-sitting of GOP legislators (County and State); and (2) purposeful knee capping by President Trump and Mr. DeJoy of the USPS that lead to 100’s of thousands of ballots not being delivered in time to be counted.

    Liked by 1 person

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